On this day filled with love, I wanted to share my most candid feelings with you. It was never a question of not knowing that I wanted to be your mother. The most challenging obstacle is actually getting to this point. The countless appointment, losing count of how many needles, all to result in disappointment. Longing for the day that I would be able to attend OB appointments filled with joy, instead of watching others experience theirs. Being a first time mom I have no clue what I’m doing. I know with the help of your dad and our village, and you letting me know your needs, we will get through it together. I longed for some spontaneity of when you would come; then again you just may. At this point I will be grateful for your safe and healthy arrival, because to get you here on Earth was a journey within itself. I vow for you to have the advantages that I am still currently fighting so hard for within the wellness space for you to reap the benefits of.

Unbeknownst to you, my tribe is already rooting for your arrival for than me, because at times I get weary. However, I have enough faith that I placed the onesies that I purchased for you back out in the bedroom as a reminder of God’s promise for you. I’m not even sure where to continue on this journey to conceive you, as life has taken a turn. But I know that the detour will never deny the promise. I’m crying now writing this, and I know I will cry even more when I read out loud to you in person. I’m standing strong that that day will happen. I’m doing the work required of me, so I can be a whole healed mother as I enter parenthood with you. I’m sure I will watch as many videos and read as many books as possible, because one thing you will learn about your mother is that I go hard for what God has given me – and I will do the same for you.

I plan to document this journey because you deserve to see that miracles happen every day. The hardest thing is not knowing when I’ll get to see you, hear you cry, or change your first diaper. The easiest assignment is loving you already. I look forward to meeting you – sooner than I think.

Love,

Your Mother

You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you. 

Isaiah 26:3 – NIV